Empty nest time for the Narayan Murthys

bangalore: last saturday, the household of infosys chief r narayan murthy prepared to send son rohan off to the us. he was following his sister akshita who had also gone there for higher studies a few years ago. rohan flew off to delhi (his busy father will be joining him there after a few days, then they will take off together for the us). that's when husband and wife found themselves confronted by the empty nest reality. says sudha murthy, "as a people, we in india are so family-oriented, the concentration on children is so focused that when they go, it affects you deeply." son rohan was always encouraged to be his own person. his mother says, "we were always particular to emphasise that they should not think of their destiny in terms of `i am narayan murthy's child'. i told them, `that is your father's money, your father's achievement. in life, you have to look forward to what you can do and achieve for yourself.'" no five-star hotel culture or shopping sprees; the children were taught moderation and balance in everything. "after bishop cotton boys school, when the question of rohan's future studies loomed, america beckoned, because we wanted him to grow up normally, go by bus, and all else that is involved in campus studies abroad; for security reasons too, and because he wanted to do computer science and maths," says sudha. now that the nest is empty, will it spell more time for togetherness or are they going to be more than ever busy? "more than ever busy," says sudha honestly. "my husband is out for 20 days each month, and previously i would be out for only five days or so because of the children. now as soon as he leaves, i will leave, but i will try and return a day or two before him." originally, sudha and her husband were to both go to be with rohan for a month in the states, to help him settle in. now only his father will be accompanying rohan. plans changed because of the floods in orissa, where sudha through the infosys foundation heads the orphanage at kalahandi. sudha said to her son, `it's not as if this is the first time you are going to the states. your uncle and aunt are there and you have been there often yourself. i feel i should go for the relief work at orissa. but if you insist, i can come and be with you as per the original plan'. the lad thought about it, and though personally disappointed, he coaxed his mother to go to orissa. after all, dad would be there with him. however, he made his mother promise that she would be there with him for his 18th birthday in october. `bill,' said sudha to her son using the pet name she has kept for him, `now you are going into a life of your own; when you come home, you will be just a visitor.' some friends cautioned them about the impact america can have on values and upbringing. others asked the narayan murthys, `do you want your child to become a bill clinton or a bill gates?' with the unconscious humour that is so much a part of her unique personality, sudha murthy says, "forget clinton and gates, rohan should fit his own bill!"